The Peculiar Art of Creating New Standards
Let’s face it: establishing a new standard is about as easy as convincing your grandmother that cryptocurrency isn’t just magic internet money. At New Standard, we understand this challenge all too well, which is why we approach it with a healthy dose of humor and self-awareness.
Think about standards for a moment. They’re everywhere, yet they’re as invisible as that sock that disappeared in your dryer three years ago. We use them daily, from the width of toilet paper rolls to the universal understanding that pineapple on pizza will forever remain controversial.
Why Standards Are Like Bad Blind Dates
Standards, much like blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, come with:
- High expectations
- Occasional disappointment
- Surprising moments of brilliance
- The lingering question: “Who thought this was a good idea?”
Remember when everyone thought Betamax would be the standard for home videos? Or when people insisted that flip phones were the peak of mobile technology? Standards are constantly evolving, much like your excuses for not going to the gym.
The Standard-Setting Process
Creating a new standard typically involves several critical steps:
1. Identifying a problem that needs standardizing
2. Gathering experts who can’t agree on anything
3. Watching these experts argue for months about minute details
4. Finally reaching a consensus through sheer exhaustion
5. Implementing the standard just in time for it to become obsolete
At New Standard, we’re not just setting standards; we’re creating the future equivalent of “why did we ever think that was a good idea?” But here’s the thing: without standards, we’d all be trying to charge our phones with banana peels and measuring distances in “approximate cat lengths.”
The Future of Standards
As we move forward, standards will continue to shape our world in increasingly important ways. Whether it’s determining the perfect coffee-to-water ratio or establishing universal protocols for robot handshakes, someone needs to set these standards.
Remember, today’s cutting-edge standard is tomorrow’s quaint relic. Just like how your current smartphone will eventually look as outdated as a carrier pigeon with a fanny pack.
So here’s to standards: the unsung heroes of consistency, the nightmare of innovators, and the reason why you can plug your toaster into any outlet without creating a small domestic light show.